Thursday, August 2, 2012

1st Samuel 18:27, Chick-fil-A is Biblical

Special thanks to Facebook friend Bill Dew for counting foreskins for me. You know, for research.

David rose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines.a,b And David brought their foreskins to Chick-fil-A headquarters and gave them to Dan Cathy, so that Cathy might make him a Chick-fil-A night manager.

And lo, Dan Cathy did make David a Chick-fil-A night manager. And he gave unto David a cashier named Debbie, as a wife to fuck.

Then Dan Cathy made two hundred Chick-fil-A sandwiches.c,d

a. Some authorities have Faggostines.
b. Some translations are so ungodly as to change two hundred Philistines to one hundred Philistines. Or Faggostines. Or what-the-fuck ever.
c. Some authorities have one hundred Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
d. Inerrantists have one hundred double-foreskin Chick-fil-A sandwiches.

David brings 100 foreskins to Chick-fil-A's Dan Cathy
Nothing Gay About That

Jon Stewart and Chick-fil-A cow EAT MOR COK
But only eat the foreskins