"I wonder if God knows
And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures of every kind: cattle and creeping things and wild animals of every kind and serpents and poodles.” And it was so. God made the wild animals and cattle of every kind, and everything that creeps upon the ground. And serpents and poodles. And God saw that other than the serpent, it was good.
God said, “It is right to finish creation today and to chilleth tomorrow,” and so it pleased him to call upon his host of heavenly beings so that they might help with day six. And among the heavenly beings were the archangels and also the cherubim and seraphim. And the cherubim and seraphim were creepy to look upon.
Then God said (this time not to himself but to the heavenly beings), “Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness,” for God spoke redundantly so that the heavenly beings might understand. And God added, “Except for the cherubim and seraphim, for they are creepy to look upon.”
Then God said, “And let man rule over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air.”
And the archangels said amongst themselves, “Like we don't know that the fish are of the sea and the birds are of the air.”
God said, “And also let man rule over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” But the serpent was not cattle and the serpent was not wild, nor did it creep upon the earth. The serpent God did not mention. For God was an asshole.