Thursday, June 7, 2012

Mark 1:40-45, Fish in a Barrel

A leper came to Jesus begging, and Jesus said unto him, "We've never met before, right? We didn't see each other before the show or anything like that, right?"

The leper nodded.

"So, you've never seen me before in your life?" added Jesus.

The leper nodded again and then kneeled in front of Jesus and said, "If you choose, you can make me clean."

For some reason, this made Jesus angry, "Of course I can make you clean, you little man." And Jesus stretched out his hand, touched the leper, and said, "Alright, alright. I choose to make you clean. Bam!" Immediately the leprosy left the man, and he was a clean, ex-leper.

Still pissed, Jesus scolded the ex-leper and sent him away at once, saying, "Keep your trap shut, okay? Don't tell anyone what happened. Just go and show yourself to the priest and offer whatever it was that Moses commanded for your cleansing. Kill a bird or something."

"Do you mean walk 60 miles to the Temple?" asked the ex-leper.

"Yes." said Jesus.
"And have the priest kill one bird and dip another live bird in the dead bird's blood?"

"Uh, yeah. That." answered Jesus.

"And then sprinkle the blood on me seven times and then let the bloody bird fly off? And then shave off all my hair? And let them kill a lamb and wipe some of its blood on my right ear, thumb, and big toe?"

"Really? It says all that?" said Jesus, "Wow, that's gonna be one hell of a testimony to them. Listen, just don't tell them about me, okay? They wouldn't understand."

But the ex-leper went out and proclaimed what happened to anyone who would listen. And he spread the word so effectively that Jesus could no longer go into a town freely, so he stayed out in the country, which was better anyway, because people came to him from everywhere.

"Fish in a barrel," Jesus remarked, "Fish in a barrel."