(Featuring images from The Brick Testament.)
Here is another story of how the heavens and earth were created. You liketh stories, don’t you? Surely. I kneweth you did.
The day that Yahweha made the earth and the heavens, when no plant of the field was yet in the earth and no herb of the field had sprouted - for Yahweh had not yet created immigrants to till the ground - a stream would rise from the earth, and water the whole face of the ground, keeping it moist not unlike how hippies keep a beached whale moist as it slowly dies.
Yahweh took 120 pounds of dust from the ground, which was a great feat unto itself as water covered the whole face of the earth, and he made a dust man. Then Yahweh breathed into the man’s nostrils, but the man's head burst and settled in a fine layer of silt over a cherub. Yahweh made the man a new dust head, and he tried again. Lo and behold, the man became a living being, and his name was Man.b
And Yahweh planted a garden in Eden, which is a apparently a nice place, and he picked up Man like a little diorama figure and placed him in the garden, sort of leaning against a tree, for Man had only begun to walk. Like a newborn foal did Man's legs wobble.
Out of the ground Yahweh made to grow every tree that is pretty and good for food, the tree of lifec also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.d
a. Or Yesway, as in “Yes way! He exists.”
b. Hebrew Adam
c. Eating from the tree of life is another way that man could have had eternal life after the fall (Gen 3:22). Perhaps Jesus should have suggested this to Daddy.
d. Or entrapment
One tree gives you eternal life,
and the other has delicious apples.